This week seems to be a really angry week. People are just mad as hell. I don’t know if it is in the air, or perhaps its a culmination of everyone’s stresses, but the air is thick with tension in so many of the places where I have to be this week.
It is so difficult for people to be productive in an environment where people are angry. It creates this hostility that makes people unfocused and aggressive. That kind of emotion can be infectious! I always feel like when people are angry as hell, it makes everyone else around them angry. How can you remain calm or happy when someone right next to you is in a state of distress?
This may be a problem that is unique to me, but I suspect it isn’t. I admit, I am very sensitive to other people’s moods. Its one of the reasons why I use the wall off technique to protect myself. When I feel like I am at risk of being affected by someone’s stank ass attitude, I have a tendency to keep to myself. Sometimes, however, I can’t help but let the stress of my own business mingle with other people’s stresses, and I crack. I’m not a fortress.
I think of Byron Katie.
I’m not a self help person at all- I think self help is often a way of rephrasing shit you already know. Most people are very well aware of their baggage, but like to hear it addressed in different ways. To me, that’s self help. I can honestly say that Katie’s self help movement, called “The Work,” has been different. While I don’t take everything she is so personally, I have to say that her theory on staying in your OWN business is difficult, but necessary.
I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control and everyone else’s control — I call that God’s business.)
She breaks it down to say that YOUR business is the only business you should be in.
Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself, I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.
If you are not minding your OWN BUSINESS, your life can fall by the wayside. You aren’t taking care of yourself. You are putting too much feeling into someone else’s well being. It’s like robbing yourself.
If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for myself? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.
Boom. Katie drops that knowledge and it makes perfect sense. She isn’t saying to not care about other people, but if you are stressed out about other people’s shit to the point where you can’t help yourself, then its time to re-evaluate. Don’t self yourself short and side track yourself.
I feel like I need to read this at least once a day so that I never forget that my business is what’s important.