Archive for ‘Viewpoints’

November 26, 2012

It’s Not You…It’s Me.

Honestly. This isn’t your fault.

Things have changed. Heck, I am still changing.

I recently immersed myself in the planning of one of the most awesome times of my life. My wedding.

 

really excited to be on this ship

 

While planning, I remained quite private. Minus the little squee-worthy moments, I didn’t want to blog about my wedding planning. After all, its only one day- it’s the relationship that is to last forever. So in my silence, I began evaluating other types of relationships, including the one I have with blogging.

When I started blogging, it was to share this blossoming love of design and how it was inspiring a lot of things in my life. It was to celebrate my youth, and my experiences living. I find now that there are still things to celebrate, even if it isn’t my youth (ever fleeting) and my life as a design student (coming to a close). One of the things that has been hard about blogging is trying to stick to writing about something incredibly focused, when there is so much y0u want to say.

Advertisements
June 29, 2012

I’m Coming Home

Written yesterday, while waiting for my flight home.

 

My plan was to spend 2 months living and loving life in Costa Rica. Touching down that first day, I looked around at the hills and mountains, the way the clouds skimmed the top, and the way the sun exposed everything, and I couldn’t have envisioned leaving a moment sooner than July 21st.

Yet here I am, a month later, sitting in SJO waiting for my flight home.

Some people who know me well may say, “I knew she wouldn’t want to be away for so long,”  while others are no doubting saying, “is she crazy?! I’d never come back.” I think that until I was here in Costa Rica, living what was once my dream, I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I knew for sure that I wanted to experience living elsewhere for a short time. I wanted to improve my Spanish and develop a yoga practice. I wanted the time to think clearly about what I would want to accomplish when I got home. Did I want to work full time again? Did I still want to be a graphic designer when the field is so narrow? I want to get married and have kids, but when? I couldn’t sort through many of those things prior to my trip, due to a lot of cloudiness. I felt like after a few years in a very unhappy place professionally, I needed to turn that attention towards my personal life. I have a great partner in William, but how can I improve myself and ultimately both of our lives together?

I think alone time is highly underestimated. For someone who talks an awful lot, I spend a lot of time a lone in my head with my own thoughts. It it is easy for us to fall into day to day patterns, ignoring the small cries that are trying to tell us to slow down and take our time thinking things through. Have you ever spent some time not doing anything, just thinking about things, or spent a whole day with yourself saying, “I’m going to do whatever I feel like doing today?” I finally got to do that, a whole bunch of times, and I really liked spending time with myself. The lifestyle in Montezuma is one where you have plenty of time to do those sorts of things. I wrote a lot, spent a lot of time meeting and talking to new people, getting wicked cases of sunburn, and speaking terrible spanish. I spent some time working on my warrior poses, and even more time listening to crickets, howler monkeys, and reggae music. I love Costa Rica. I love Montezuma dearly. I will never forget what the sand, sun, and ocean feels like (warm, comforting), the amazing people who live there ( just as warm as the sun, too), and every experience I hope never to take for granted. Monica and I had the best time ever, and I know for sure, she and I will definitely travel together in the future to other warm, sunny locales.

Still, after one month, I think I accomplished what I came to do. I didn’t want my trip to turn into a 2 month long party, and I could see it heading in that direction. I’m not an undergrad, and I had no desire to feel that way again. I began to feel very homesick, especially after seeing my family gathered together on Father’s Day via Google Video. After the screen went dark, I cried and cried, for what is surely my real source of happiness was so far away. No adventure could ever bring the kind of joy (or stress for that matter lol) that my family brings me. Even Talia and Louis in front of the screen made me pine for my warm bed and cute little dogs laying at my feet. That feeling, combined with what would turn out to be a week dealing with a stomach bug made me long to be home. I remembered that at almost 29 years old, at this current place in my life, I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing. For some people, that means seeing the world with no return date in site. For me, it means I am completely content being the type of person who takes a few vacations a year. I once thought that such thinking would make me boring and out of touch. Now? I don’t really care. I am smart enough and resourceful enough to never get bored for the rest of my life. I am also strong enough and wise enough to know when its time to focus on something else.

I am happy I will always have this experience, and I feel blessed that I could afford the opportunity. I am even more lucky that I fully appreciate what it means to go home and truly love the life I have made for myself there. I am blessed to have figured out that there is no better place for me than with my family and friends, and that I could be anywhere and be home as long as they are there.

 

Loved My Life In Montezuma

PS- One of you will inevitably ask if I regret quitting my job to travel ONLY for one month, so let me just say, before you get it twisted, the following official statement.

HELL NO I DON’T REGRET IT. Not one bit.

April 12, 2012

Racing Thoughts Late At Night

Last night, I came home from class beyond exhausted. It was 11:40 when I walked into the door. I was so happy to see my dogs, who clearly are barely living a full life unless they are following me around the apartment. I was even more excited to see William, who was barely awake.

Only a few more weeks of the double agent lifestyle…unhappy government contract support by day, stressed design student by night. School ends the 9th. 9 days after that, the job I begrudgingly came to for the past three years will end as well. I’ve quit my job to travel, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve sworn off new clothes, taken up afternoons at the gym, and gave up drinking anything but wine once a week in a Lent related attempt to save money and my health. I still haven’t had a beer yet. I excitedly shared my plans with everyone in my world. I can’t believe that I, a self-professed home body, will spend 2 months (I miscounted I’m actually away for a week longer than I thought) away from my home, my love, my family, friends, and 2 dogs, in the name of…my own dreams.

I laid awake in my bed until 12:30. Why do I feel guilty for following my heart? I lay in my bed, thinking about how I am not the only person sacrificing things for my dream. Darkness, laying beside me, is supporting my decision in more ways than one. He loves me so much that he is telling me to do whatever I feel called to do, because he would never want me to regret a thing, especially while we plan our future lives together. I am really grateful to have him, because I know he is the best.

I think about the people who accuse me of being crazy. How they think I am unstable. Who would give up the financial security? Squander their savings? Delay dreams of buying a home in this already tough economy?

I think about how I have spent countless moments crying, stressing, clenching my teeth, wishing for more time, hating my work day, crowing about how there is ever time for the things that make me happy. I think about the people who will never get to experience anything but hardships far worse than my own. I think about  my my best friend, Jessica,  gone to soon, and how she would never waste her life in a place she wasn’t meant to be.

Then I think about how I am a girl with nothing to lose. I think about how I’m not sure of everything I want out of life, but after spending nearly all of my 20’s listening to other people, and adapting their version of happiness, I think I owe it to myself to take the time to figure out what my version is.

I can assure you, this picture was taken while I was experiencing a moment of sheer joy.

I can assure you, this picture was taken while I was experiencing a moment of sheer joy.

April 5, 2012

Who’s business is it?

This week seems to be a really angry week. People are just mad as hell. I don’t know if it is in the air, or perhaps its a culmination of everyone’s stresses, but the air is thick with tension in so many of the places where I have to be this week.

It is so difficult for people to be productive in an environment where people are angry. It creates this hostility that makes people unfocused and aggressive.  That kind of emotion can be infectious! I always feel like when people are angry as hell, it makes everyone else around them angry. How can you remain calm or happy when someone right next to you is in a state of distress?

This may be a problem that is unique to me, but I suspect it isn’t. I admit, I am very sensitive to other people’s moods. Its one of the reasons why I use the wall off technique to protect myself. When I feel like I am at risk of being affected by someone’s stank ass attitude, I have a tendency to keep to myself. Sometimes, however, I can’t help but let the stress of my own business mingle with other people’s stresses, and I crack. I’m not a fortress.

I think of Byron Katie.

I’m not a self help person at all- I think self help is often a way of rephrasing shit you already know. Most people are very well aware of their baggage, but like to hear it addressed in different ways. To me, that’s self help. I can honestly say that Katie’s self help movement, called “The Work,” has been different. While I don’t take everything she is so personally, I have to say that her theory on staying in your OWN business  is difficult, but necessary.

I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control and everyone else’s control — I call that God’s business.)

 

She breaks it down to say that YOUR business is the only business you should be in.

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself, I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.

If you are not minding your OWN BUSINESS, your life can fall by the wayside. You aren’t taking care of yourself. You are putting too much feeling into someone else’s well being. It’s like robbing yourself.

 

If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for myself? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.

 

Boom. Katie drops that knowledge and it makes perfect sense.  She isn’t saying to not care about other people, but if you are stressed out about other people’s shit to the point where you can’t help yourself, then its time to re-evaluate.  Don’t self yourself short and side track yourself.

I feel like I need to read this at least once a day so that I never forget that my business is what’s important.

April 1, 2012

I’m going to do WHAT?! (Part One)

Earlier this week I publicly announced something I’ve been so excited to share. I’m quitting my job in May, and going to Costa Rica. I find myself to be an open minded person- someone who is able to think outside of the box, question things rather than accept them at face value, and go through the trouble of seeking my own answers. It’s my inquisitive nature that has lead me to make this major, major change in my life.

How did I arrive at this decision?

I have spent much of my adult life in conflict with myself. I feel like I have an explorer’s spirit who is being stifled by an extremely practical logic (Is that partially my parents influence? Very likely). I have long wanted to pack up a bag or two, and take off to another country with the goal of experiencing the language, the people, and the journey of being on my own in an unfamiliar place. I have a very tight knit family While I’m grateful for their guidance, I think I owe it to myself to get in touch with my adventurous side before marriage and kids come into the picture. Those major milestones are on the horizon, and I wanted to experience more travel and adventure before I settled into the domestic life I have always dreamed of with William. I want no regrets.

I’ve spent a lot of time watching other people do what they felt called to do. I sat around thinking, “I can’t do that. I have a job and bills I have to pay.” But when everyone else is having the experience of the life time, and you are standing by green with envy, something in you snaps and says, “Why NOT me?!”

Work life became something I hadn’t experienced before. It was to the point where I didn’t want to get out of my bed in the morning, and I would be angry and aggressive on Sundays, knowing I had to spend the next 5 days at a place where I wasn’t learning anything or playing well with others. I felt depressed. Here I am, trying to be the best adult I can be, and I just can’t cut it. This couldn’t be all there is to adulthood, right? Graduate school provided some relief, but I also felt that my job left me so stressed at the end of the day, I couldn’t even concentrate on my schoolwork. 16 hours a day in front of a computer left me aching for change. Everything, including my health, began to suffer- anxiety, a HUGE weight gain, and constant tension headaches were some of the the things building up, adding to my unhappiness. I know there are always personality challenges and bad days at work, but this was beyond my realm of experience.

All the while I kept looking at other jobs, study abroad programs, travel programs and other escape routes. I’d plan them to the tee, then never hit the purchase button, of course. I could hear my parents echoing the same thing they had always said, “you can’t quit your job Crystal. You need to work. Sorry.” The assumption that I didn’t want to work was frustrating. Of course I want to work! I just want my work to be fulfilling and challenging. My parents would say, “if you get a federal position, you need to just take it.” Sorry, no. I don’t think so. I didn’t pursue a Master’s degree in Design to have no job growth for the next 40 years.

I reached my breaking point a few months ago when a coworker who I have always had tense interactions with stood over me, in my face, yelling. I called William frustrated and crying and said something I’ve blurted many times before. “I’m Done.” This time, however, I really meant it. A coworker violating my personal space was something I am NOT putting up with. No one should. What I also realized is that while she may have someone “talk to her” about her behavior, she would never really be apprehended.

That day, I made the decision that I was ready to move on. There are certainly people I love dearly where I work. Many of them are like family members I fight with and then we have a great, while other experiences are completely unacceptable in any work place. I just felt that after having worked there on and off since I was 19 years old, it was certainly time for me to move on. It was changing who I am. I’m a happy person, who has a lot to be grateful for in life, and I was no longer reflecting that part of myself. I was becoming too sensitive, too on edge, and too unhappy. When I walked out of there knowing I was ready to leave and put my notice in soon, I felt lighter and happier than I had in years. I was finally free of it. Why had I waited so long?

I realized that every time I have ever been unhappy in my life, it it has been because I have pursued SOMEONE ELSE’S version of what my life should be like. I have to stop feeling like I need other people’s approval to be happy and pursue what I want to do. I’m excited to be doing something I’ve dreamed about for so long! What makes this adventure even better is that when I told my family about my plans, they were actually being supportive, and William couldn’t have been a better cheerleader (add that to the reasons why I love him).

While I am heading into some scary and unfamiliar territory, I couldn’t be more excited!!! There are so many amazing things coming up. I can’t wait to share it here on my blog with everyone, and I hope you all stay tuned 🙂

March 19, 2012

Falling Out of Love With Home

Henri Silberman's Photo of New York- GLORIOUS!

I love New York. I love the lights, the sight of the bridges, tunnels, skyscrapers, loudass people, endless possibilities for exploration on any night, the shopping, the food, the culture, and mostly, that I can bump into anyone and don’t have to say excuse me, because EVERYONE is rude. I fucking love New York.

William does not share the same sentiment.  We have two completely different viewpoints on moving back to the city. Both of our viewpoints are tinged by the completely different lives we lead before knowing one another. His, full of fond memories and sad losses, and mine, enduring the white bread problems of suburbia.

The topic of us relocating to New York comes up frequently. His grandfather, who just turned 90, would love to have us around, I love the city, and William does miss his family very, very much. But there is this hesitation in him I just didn’t understand at all. I know William very well, but I couldn’t peg why he is so ambivalent about it. New York is his home! How could not want to go home? Even with me picking at the subject in the annoying way that I tend to do, he just can’t bring himself to give me answers.

The only thing I can determine is that he and New York have fallen out of love.

Let me explain.

William is a native of the Bronxdale neighborhood, next door to the housing projects of the same name.  His Mother, Gloria, and two brother’s David and Marcel, along with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends, who might as well be blood related, are an incredible network of people who formed the wonderful memories of his childhood. Not all the times seem to have been good, but that is life for everyone. Having so much family around makes things easier.

When They Were Boys. From left to right, David, William, and Marcel.

Sadly, In 1996, William’s brother, David, was murdered. He was only 17. While at a party in Harlem one night, David made the “mistake” of dancing with a girl who supposedly belonged to someone else. Since some people can’t just accept that dancing is dancing, someone took his life, and shot him. The killer fled to Jamaica in an attempt to lay low after killing David. He was never brought to justice in New York Judicial system, but just like a tale from a movie, the street got him instead. He returned to New York when he thought it was safe, and was killed shortly after. No one knows for what reason, but my guess is, he has a lot of people who’s lives he ruined, and I’m sure a lot of people wanted him dead. What goes around, surely, comes around.

His family suffered through the worst heartbreak imaginable. It was that pain that prompted his mom to move him from NYC to Catonsville, MD later that year seeking a fresh start.  Marcel, almost an adult by then, opted to stay behind with his grandparents.

William adjusted well to being in Baltimore, even with a short time of feeling like a fish out of water. He made new friends and played lots of basketball, and Gloria, a former NYPD dispatcher, fulfilled her dream of becoming a chef.  To this day, I refer to him as the slowest New Yorker I’ve ever met. He likes the peace and quiet, is more inclined to spend a day in the country not doing much, than running around any city, and doesn’t  get why I am enchanted with skyscrapers and city adventures. Some city is ok- all city not so much.

William and his mom, celebrating eachother's passions- cooking and basketball.

Though William doesn’t say it, I think that David’s death has broken the love he feels for New York. Yes he loves it, as it is his home, but that love that makes some New Yorkers say, “I’m a new yorker for life and I’m not leaving” is gone. His mother, who passed away when he was just 23, has meant that WIlliam is here in Maryland with no immediate family. I am his family. My family is his family, and the rest of his family is in New York. He could have gone back, but the love is gone. I don’t know what that is like. My shitty little town of Laurel, MD has never presented me with such pain. The worst Laurel has to offer is a vacant mall and an increasingly sketchy population.

I didn’t understand it until last night before bed when I thought of my own best friend, who passed away a few years ago.  She is the most personal loss I’ve ever had, and surely the biggest tragedy I’ve ever experienced. She died  on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, where she moved to live with me while we were in college. For years, I couldn’t even go back, or cross the stretch of road heading into Ocean City where she lost her life in a car accident.

The Eastern Shore isn’t my home, but I think the sentiment I had for it in regards to Jessica’s death may be the same as what William feels for New York. The more I think of that, the worse I feel for not understanding it sooner. I can’t say for sure if this is exactly what he is feeling, but I’m hoping he will share that with me after the reads this post- no worries, I have is permission to write about his life in this post, so I’m not blindsiding him!

Instead of pushing him to be more adventurous in moving us into a city he no longer wants to be in, I should be happy his home is here with me. Amazing what I come to learn when I stop talking.

March 6, 2012

Recovering from a headache, and from myself

This week was surely marked by the never ending migraine. Starting Thursday night, the stress of school deadlines, work normalcies, and sitting at a computer for 16 hours a day finally caught up to me. In protest, my eyes just gave up. They didn’t want me looking at any computer object- not my kindle, not my ipad, imac, or macbook- nothing. My ensuing deadlines didn’t agree, so i tried to take as much advil as I could, and work on my homework in 2 hour chunks. I did the best I could.

Luckily, some good came out of it. Remember that breathing room I was talking about in my last post ? Well, I got it. I had no choice but to breathe after I worked on something for two hours, and it actually did me a world of good. I stepped back, looked at my composition, my colors, and my text placement, and was able to complete the bulk of a book cover assignment. I sent it out on the listerv and got positive feedback.

I was incredibly relieved. I think that my “come to Jesus” with my teacher really helped me see what some problems are in my approach to school. This course of study is so time consuming. It requires a lot of money, a lot of time, more research than people think, and if you aren’t some naturally talented artist blessed with technical capabilities, it requires a lot of patience.

I get the impression that people think graphic design means taking the doodles in the side of your notebook, and making something out of it. Sometimes it can! But what I am still learning is that this field is just like any other, creative or not, in that you have people to please. How likely is it that I will become some graphic design extroidanarre, choosing assignments at my own fancy, never to receive a piece of negative feed back needed for revision? Not likely.

On that note, I’m still figuring out what I can do to make school assignments easier to work on (not easier, just easier to focus on). Everything is a work in prorgess, and when I feel stressed, or pushed to my max, I will click my heels and think of the amazing things that are coming up for me.

Pics to come of my recent school work!

xxxx

 

 

February 29, 2012

Adapting some minimalist principles in my closet

I have too much stuff and its time to get rid of it. Clothes that I never wear are clogging my closet, purses I haven’t used in ages falling apart, and useless knickknacks are falling off my shelves.  I’m no hoarder, but I made a sudden realization. I looked at my apartment one day- really looked at it- and realized there is entirely too much bullshit everywhere. Sometimes I try to go on a cleaning spree and downsize my possessions, but what I tend to end up with is a clean house that still has too much stuff in it. I’m going to blame this on my mother, who is a master packer and organizer and keeps a lot of things that she doesn’t need because she has the space to. Again, she is no hoarder, but why won’t she give me that damn counter top Foreman Grill if she doesn’t use or need it? I’m convinced its because she likes that it takes up space in her well stocked kitchen.

Anyways….

Last week I finished a book called Miss Minimalist: Inspiration to Downsize, Declutter, and Simplify by Francine Jay. This woman has been a minimalist for quite some time, and I have to say, her resolve to be more thoughtful about her overall consumption and needs is quite impressive.

This past weekend, I went through my old clothes and took out all of the unnecessary items. I had to ask myself a few questions.

1. Does it fit?

2. Has the quality been compromised after so many wears?

3.  Do I even wear this shit anymore or is it no longer my style?

I found that my closet was literally cut in half. What I found was that I have a really decent collection of Michael Kors and Calvin Klein dresses that fit well and are perfect for work. What I’m lacking are tops. I need more blouses.

God forbid they not lay on the bed while I try to be productive.

I went through my drawers next. I’m actually confined to 2 full sized drawers and 2 half size drawers because William is a dresser hog. He always says he doesn’t have a lot of stuff, but he does. The man has a t-shirt collection that takes up most of the space. The rest of the drawers are stuffed with man stuff like basketball shorts, lounge pants, MORE t shirts, jeans, MORE jeans, MASSIVE pairs of socks for his big feet, man panties (sike, they are boxers y’all), and undershirts.  Since Will is clearly not willing to free up more space, and I am NOT buying a new dresser, I condensed. I kept 6 tank tops, 5 full size T shirts, 6 graphic short sleeve tees, and 4 long sleeve shirts. I kept all of my work out clothes.  Yay me for finding a way to organize my stuff. Turns out, having less makes it easier. I was able to put my laundry away and not have to smush the clothes into the drawers to close them, and I can now successfully see everything in my closet. I even went through my accessories and downsized THAT, all with two lazy brats in my way the whole time. What I ended up with was a  huge pile of clothes ready to go to the Salvation Army. 🙂

This is the pile I ended up folding and putting in bags for Salvation Army.

I may not be a full on minimalist but every purging session helps !

February 21, 2012

Life Takeover in Progress

Well hello lovely people! School has officially taken over.

I’ve emerged from the most productive yet not fun three day weekend I’ve ever had.  I was locked in my apartment all weekend attempting to piece together and bind my first book, and then begin constructing what will soon be my first infographic guide.  Everything seems so simple until it isn’t, and needless to say, I struggled the whole time. Somehow, the book got bound, and I began identifying elements of my infographic. It had to be near comp quality, so handing in a shitty drawing wasn’t an option. The only way I stayed sane was by venturing out for dinner on Saturday, and then leaving the house yesterday to go to Target.  What a sad way to spend such a beautiful holiday weekend!

 

Anyway, I’m heading into the next week happy that I’ll only have to work 4 days, and happy that perhaps I will be able to do something fun this coming weekend. Nothing fancy- just simple like see a movie or ride  bike.  Pray that its meant to be!

February 11, 2012

When we experience the WORK WEEK FROM HELL

There are really only a few reasons why I might not blog regularly. One being that I have become overwhelmed at school and can’t spare the time, and the other being that I’m so upset about something, that I really can’t talk about it. Why, you say? Well, if I am upset about something, I have to be careful about my approach. This blog is meaningful and personal to me, and it represents who I am. If I am writing out of anger, I am only showing you the angry side, not the logistical or reasonable side. That might make for a good post, but it doesn’t show all the emotion, just that one angry side. There is more to me than that. I needed a few days to regroup, and then write a post about what was really bothering me, leaving my mean streak out.

The past few weeks at work have been extremely challenging. If you’ve read any of my other posts about work, you know that I regularly experience extreme dissatisfaction and depression on a normal basis. I have always just accepted it. My parents always told me that I would have troubles no matter what kind of job I had. That generally, people don’t change from place to place, and I will always have people who are rude, unhelpful, mean-spirited and ready to overthrow me from my position. In essence, there would always be haters. I think that to an extent, they are right. I normally think that people are mostly good, but in my current position, I have moments when I think otherwise. Not everyone is going to get along well. While I may not always be the best at biting my tongue, and I may challenge people from time to time, I maintain cordial relationships at work. It’s what you do.

This week, I broke my own rules about “sucking it up” and I really couldn’t take anymore. I had a coworker hang up the telephone on me while I tried to address an issue. The details are many, but essentially, she didn’t like that I pointed out a mistake so she hung up on me, refused to apologize later for the incident, tried to throw me under the bus with my boss (who backed me up, thankfully), and is still trying to scrounge up things I’ve supposedly made mistakes on recently. Unfortunately for her, there aren’t any. I’m really good at covering my ass. This coworker has also made several comments about my weight, and most notably, has asked me several times if I had a thyroid problem, and that I should get tested because I have gained a lot of weight. During an altercation, I let her know I felt she was rude, childish, and unprofessional. Would she hang up on her boss?

I also had another incident this week where another coworker made what amounted to a fat joke, completely stepping outside of his boundaries. While I was very mad at him, he is a good guy, was just being momentarily stupid, and our relationship remains in tact. Still, it is really just too much for one week for me. I’m sorry.

People really need to start being nicer to one another. We need to start holding ourselves accountable. We need to start treating each other with more respect. That goes for me as well, because I am no angel. When did it become okay for us to speak to each other with tones of disgust and aggravation? This is far too acceptable and it’s NOT OK! If you are in a job where you are not happy getting up going to work, you are anxious when you arrive and you are tearful out of stress when you leave, remind yourself that you don’t deserve that kind of behavior. Start thinking of what you need to change to make that better. Keep in mind, some situations are repairable, and others are not. Perhaps its better that we as people start to preserve the good things about ourselves instead of sacrificing it all the time. After a lot of time in unhealthy situations, we start to change and become like the people we can’t stand. Don’t let it get there. I’m sure that those people don’t even realize they have become the kind of people who unapologetically unleash hell on their coworkers and infectiously spread negative energy.

I read your Facebook statuses and your tweets, and I know that many of you are in the same boat with where you work. Tell me (anonymously if you prefer), what is your experience at work? How do you deal with shitty treatment from coworkers? Have you treated someone less than stellar and you feel bad about it? Where you previously at a place like this and you want to reflect on that? Tell me what you do to remedy extreme stress from work. I’m dying to know what you all think.

Send me an email at crysmor@gmail.com or send me a message on Facebook.